Well , here I am .
It's been a few days since I last posed my blog .
Saw my gf's blog & realise that she have been blogging .
So , here I am .

Ok , it's the start of this new semester with new friends , new class & new modules .
It's rather acceptable for the time table but it's tough & tiring .
3 core subjects , 4 hrs each & everyday , lab & tutorials .
Come on , why is it so boring ?
Sitting in front of the computer and do coding everyday for 4 hrs .
Pff , I'm so not gonaa take IT profession when I go out to work .

Anyway , things has really change alot .
I thought I'd like my class ,
but I was really wrong .
It made me more lonely than ever .

Edwin & I quarrelled last semester & so ,
from best brothers , we became normal friends now .
Sometimes , we can even don't talk to each other for a week ,
treating each other transparent .

Yong kang, his mood is like a female, which will tends to moodswing .
One moment he's like that , another moment he's that way .
Most of the time, he's quiet .
But why is it that when he's with edwin , he goes crazy ?
Everytime during lab lesson, I wanna ask him questions, he tends to give me a cold shoulder or attitude.
He just keeps telling me, "Wait I finish 1st" or "U nvr this u nvr that".
But when edwin or shimin ask him, he immediately helps them.
When he's done with his work , he will automatically go over to them & see what are they doing .
If they needs help, he will help .
But as for me , why won't he approach me ?
I don't feel like i'm visible in this class.
Do I make ppl despise me that much ?

I don't seem to have any best or good friends in poly ?
When I go hm , no one said bye to me ,
when I went to the toilet , no one's waiting outside for me ...
When they are going out of school to eat, they don't call me along ...
Do I make ppl despise me that much ?
As for Shimin , yes we do talk , but just normal friends talk .
Nth much .

Why ?
Does people despise me that much ?
or am I too matured to be with them ?
or am I just too quiet & not interesting to be with ?
or are they just too childish still playing this kind of method ?

Everyone seems to love school or rather go school .
But I don't
During lessons , I always hope that time will pass faster so that I can go home .
I felt very left out .
No one seems to like me , care about me nor realise my prescence.
I'm like invisible .
I feel terrible ...

It's like going to school alone , with no friends .
Unlike chong kai , everyone sticks to him .
At the start of sch , they meet out as a group by meeting at the bus stop & go to sch tgt ,
but I wasn't known .
End of school , they waited for each other everyone & go back tgt .
But me ?
No one ...
Only my gf .

Everytime after lessons when they waited outside for edwin & shimin & yong kang ,
I felt that I'm nothing .
Who am I ?
I'm invisible ...
When we come out of class , they started joking , chatting , laughing ...
But me , no one stands beside me ...
no one says bye to me ,
no one asked me where am I going ?
no one joke , laugh , play & talk to me ...
I'm alone ... as usual , the always .

Life has become miserable for me .
I thought that during poly life , I'd have more friends & be more open up .
yes I used to have more friends & opened up ,
but not now .
I'm alone ...

I hate going to school ,
I just feel like transferring to other course & starts from Year one again ...
I don't want to face my class cuz I'm always invisible to them & I have no friends .
Everyone has their own interest group or friend group ,
but I don't .

This feeling is really bad .
No one text me ,
no one accompanying me to eat ,
no one accompanying me to wait ...
NONE at all .

When I needed help in my work , there's no one I could ask ...
When they are doing project , they call each other but not me ...
Why ? Why am I being treated like this ?
Hais ...
I feel like changing course .
I really couldn't take this anymore ...

Everyday going to sch from 9am until like 6pm ,
4 hrs per lessons each day ...
being alone or treated like invisible to everyone in the class ...
2 and a half more semester go to ...
How can I bear with this ?

When I told them I will be going to sleep in lib & I was late for lesson ,
no one bothered to text or give me a call to see if I have woken up & not to be late for class ,
no one bothered to text or call me why I didnt come ,
no one bothered to ask me to go to eat tgt,
no one ... NONE at all ...

I'm hating school ,
I'm hating life ,
I'm hating everything ..
I just wish to have a world where there's only me & my gf .
If I don't have my gf , I'm = nothing anymore .
I don't see life meaningful at all .
What a great life u give me , god ...

FUCK YOU , GOD .
You don't even fucking exist & people worshipping u like as if you give people fortune .
Fuck off .
U gives people misery more than good fortune or life .
You give people MORE karma than wealth .
Wtf are you ?
Playing "The Sims" with us ?
Fuck off . Take me life if you want .
I have nothing to lose .